Just finished watching a playthrough of Before Your Eyes and I literally sobbed and cried real tears. If I would've known it was gonna be like that I would've rather played it myself before watching someone else play it but that's okay. Miss vanillamace had me gigglin so maybe it was better that way lol, otherwise I'd still be crying in bed w the lights off for like 2 days lmao. Anyway it was crazy inspiring and crazy sad too but now I'm like damn.. 1. I wanna make something, like literally anything I have the creative itch. And 2. Life really is short. I don't even know what more to say about it but like holy shit what a beautiful game and beautiful story. OH in other news I finally bought a camcorder ooo! ahh! It hasn't shipped yet and I'm crossing my fingers I didn't get scammed LOL but I have a good feeling. I'll have to make a post about it when it finally gets here and hopefully I can add a video gallery to my site with some footage hehe! For now I'm gonna just use tapes, I love analog media anyway, the hands on aspect and how involved it makes you with the whole process from start to finish is why I love shooting film so much so I think I'll like that aspect too! And if I really start using the camera a ton and it seems like it would be worth it, I'll probably get a tapeless setup :) It's supposed to come this week sometime along w some new batteries I bought, and I'm hoping it does so I can film some stuff at my dad's birthday in a couple weeks. I still have to get some tapes for it too though. Hopefully those will come in a decent amount of time once I do order them though. I also applied to a new job, it's at a liquor store and it's only caual hours but the pay is really good and maybe just working casual this summer will give me time to work on my art. Wish me luck and hopefully soon enough I'll have some cool camcorder footage on here hehe :)

It's been while I guess LOL Likkkeeee almost 2 months? oopsie.. I've been tired and busy working and really absorbed in TOG so I haven't updated the website in ages :/ But anyway, still workin at my fuck ass job, still sucks and stresses me out. A cafe I really wanted to work at was hiring but they never called me back so boo.. Also I've been reading way too fast to actually keep up with my book journal on here so I think I'll probably switch to like a reading log instead LOL, I do like the idea of having it like a book shelf so maybe I'll just tweak what I already started! I'm currently tandem reading Empire of Storms and Tower of Dawn with a handy guide I found I finished my first playthrough of Lost Records: Bloom and Rage. I was at work thinking MAN I wanna play something like Life is Strange (It's weirdly comfort game for me I've replayed it sooo many times) and realized I had this DONTNOD game on my wishlist so decided to give it a try and it scratched that itch perfectly. I'm at the start of my second playthrough just to change some elements of my first playthrough. Anyway now it's got me looking into buying a vhs-c camcorder to add to my camera collection lol. Anyway I'm doing good besides my job, yesterday the weather was really nice so I just plopped a chair in the backyard by the woods and listened to/ watched the birds w some binoculars and read a bit. I even meditated there and it was really nice. I also think I wanna start running, but I'm not doing it on this road bc ppl drive like maniacs on it LOL I'm just gonna do laps around the backyard. It's big enough so why not? I used to run w Zombies Run or whatever it was called, I might do that again tbh idk. Trying to stay active lol. OH My birthday came and went so I'm 26 now...... Closer to 30 than 20. WHICH... I feel suppeeerrrr normal about :)... BUt I went out w my friends on the weekend and it was genuinely awesome. We ended up at this arcade bar and I stg the DJ was like bumpin my liked songs or smthn bc every song was a hit and I danced the ENTIRE night. Loved seeing my friends :) Also, I found out you can Jailbreak a kindle with basically 0 risk, but then when I went to do it I immediately found out the newest update like ~3 weeks ago makes it impossible LOL... So once a new method's been figured out though, I'll be doing that for sure. That's my update for now, hopefully if I don't start working on this website some more soon, I will when I finally finish TOG haha.

Struggling to finish my hotwheels collection page oh my GOSH!! I can see in my mind what I want and every time I try to execute it, it just will not work. The way I've SCOURED stack overflow and none of the solutions work right... It's so frustratinggg! I just wanna have a page for all my little carsss lolol to have them all in one place. The biggest struggle is making it actually look good LMAO but also I'd like some info for each car somewhere, ideally my first idea was like as an overlay on hover but apparently that's the hardest thing in the world for me to do or something......... I always get SO close like "omg it's about to work!" and then everything breaks OR I'm like Ohhhhhhh that actually looks like shit and ass and dick and balls Approaching my wits end but I don't wanna give up because I realllyy want a place to keep track of my collection!! I love my little cars, and it's the first time I've actually truly had a collection of some kind. Unless you count my cameras but that's less of a collector's thing because I use them all, that's more of an "I have a problem" thing lmaoo. Anyways, I suppose also here's an update from my last post: I learned some new things at work yesterday, more office work like balancing and stuff. Which makes me slightly hopeful that maybe I'll be shifting to more of an office position instead of my current supervisor aka glorified cashier position lol. The job would at least be SLIGHTLY more bearable if I could just sit in the office majority of the day instead of my main job being customer service of some kind... Who knows though... I'm still going to look for other work, or maybe try and do my own thing. I've made a few custom cards for people, that's sort of been in the back of my mind. And once the weather gets nicer I'll be able to work on my metalsmithing again (my "studio" is a shed outside and it's waayyy too cold to do anything in there right now without freezing my fingers off (plus it's gonna be way harder for the metal to heat right). Wish me luck, and have a good day.

Folks... I absolutely hate my job with a buring passion. I genuinely feel like it's sucking the life out of me sometimes. Like it brings out the worst in me. My left eye has been twitching for 3 and a half weeks and I'm not kidding. I need time off or SOMETHING, but I don't have any PTO because I'm a part time worker even though I work 40hrs a week, ya gotta love it. Could I technically take like a week off and just use my savings if need be? Sure probably I don't know... I just can't stand customer service anymore. People are SO self-centered and self- absorbed it's making me go nuts!! I spend the majority of my time doing something I absolutely hate and when I do have free time I have no energy. I have to update my resume and start seriously looking for a new job, especially now that I have my license (pro-tip: don't wait til ur 25 to get it lol) BUT it took me so SO long to get this job in the first place. No where else I applied called me back, except one restaurant that called me after I had already accepted this job (and this was 2 months after I applied in the first place). There's a seasonal job I'm really hoping is hiring this year, and if they like you, they re-hire every year. I've been keeping my eyes glued to their fb page but nothing yet... Sigh.. Please keep me in your thoughts lolol let's manifest my dream job or something

This website has consumed me mind, body, and soul. It's literally all I want to work on. I haven't made another book journal or movie journal because all I do is add/change stuff on this website lolol. It's nice though to have a creative project I'm so invested in and that I find really fun. I've tried making a website twice before in the past, but once I got to the part of trying to get everything laid out nice I always gave up lmao. So I feel very proud of myself for actually sticking with it and making this site. I really love it. Ideally I'd love to add more stuff. The way some people's sites are organized I'm like omg that is so genius they have SO much content that must be so fun. But also I imagine a lot of work to maintain considering how much I work on this site and I don't have much on here yet lolol. Meh it's ever evolving I suppose, that's half the fun!